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Boost Your Relationship IQ

Cherish Your Loved Ones

By Lisa Marie Metzler

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Cherish. It is a word usually reserved for wedding vows and love songs. But what does it really mean to cherish? Isn't just loving someone enough?

"Cherishing a person means that you are so deeply connected that you feel their joy, feel their pain and become part of their experiences," says Deanna Luke, a Ft. Worth, Texas grandmother and children's book author.

Cherishing someone you love forms a deep, intimate bond with that person. Their world becomes something in which you take a vested interest. Feeling cherished is something we all long to experience. It makes us feel valued and treasured. It's natural to want to feel cherished by the people you love because cherishing someone is an extension of our love.

"You can love something or someone but to cherish them means you have the highest regard for them because you are giving them your soul," says Dauna Scofield, mother of three from Winston-Salem, N.C.

But making someone else our highest priority doesn't usually come as second nature. Too often, we become busy with our jobs, car pools, children and other activities. We don't stop to cherish the people who are important in our lives. In fact, if you were to ask people on the street if they feel cherished, most would be hard pressed to say yes. Fortunately, there are opportunities waiting for us, each day, to cherish one another. Cherishing someone you love doesn't have to take elaborate planning or great expense, but it will take a conscious effort. And the rewards are bountiful!

Love Notes, Kisses and Hugs
Words of affirmation or an affectionate gesture are simple, yet powerful ways to show someone you cherish them. Deb Firebaugh of Casper, Wyo. says she feels cherished when her husband kisses her on the cheek and tells her he loves her before he leaves for work in the morning.

Trey Graham, a motivational speaker and author of Lessons for the Journey (American House Publishing), suggests leaving notes for your spouse in locations where they will be found, sending flowers, praising your spouse in public, helping your spouse around the house, praying for your spouse and planning weekly date nights. "Find creative ways to show them they have worth and value," Graham says. In your journey to cherish, you'll need to ask questions to learn what makes your spouse feel valued and treasured.

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