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Home › Articles › Becoming a Grandparent › Your First Grandchild

Your First Grandchild

How to Help
Without Becoming a Hindrance

By Katherine Bontrager

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A Positive Influence
One subject is repeatedly discussed: positive grandparenting. Part of positive grandparenting entails being supportive, a good listener and open to learning. Eitzen even urges the participants to create a grandparent memories book full of family history. The book is a gift that continues to give throughout the generations and captures just where the story all began.

"The classes have been small but the people who come love the classes, and they are just so excited," she says. "I also teach the brothers and sisters class, and the new grandparents are almost as excited as the little kids. It's just amazing they have a ball."

Tips for New Grandparents

Elaine Fantle Shimberg has written a great deal on the art of grandparenting and is the author of Blending Families: A Guide for Parents, Stepparents and Everyone Building a Successful New Family (Berkley Publishing Group, 1999). Her quick list of tips for new grandparents includes the following:

  • Don't give advice until asked and if then, be diplomatic.
  • Never tell your in-laws that the baby looks like someone in your side of the family. He or she may be convinced the baby is the image of someone in his or her family.
  • Offer to baby-sit if you want to; if not, offer to grocery shop, make dinner or pay for a sitter so the parents can go out for the evening.
  • Hold the baby, change diapers, etc. the way the parents suggest, even though you know you did it (successfully) a different way.
  • Never argue the merits of bottle-feeding if the new mom is breastfeeding or vice versa.
  • Relax and enjoy it. Grandchildren are everything you've heard them to be and when they cry, you hand them back to their parents.

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