Moral Versus Legal

A Primer on Grandparents' Rights

By Kelly Burgess

Castellano went on to found the National Committee of Grandparents for Children's Rights Inc., which has become a clearinghouse for information on grandparents' rights. The members of the organization even travel the country in that age-old manner of the retired an RV to spread the word that the world has changed, and grandparents have to set aside their natural reticence and respect for authority to challenge the existing laws.

Going to court for visitation rights of a child is something that rarely has a happy outcome and should be a last, drastic step. Dr. Arthur Kornhaber, founder of the Foundation for Grandparenting and author of The Grandparent Solution: How Parents Can Build a Family Team for Practical, Emotional, and Financial Success (John Wiley & Sons, 2004) says a grandparent should make sure all other avenues are exhausted before taking that step.

"They first have to try all they can to personally talk with the person they have the conflict with," Dr. Kornhaber says. "If that doesn't work, then try to find someone who can intervene that doesn't have their own personal or emotional attachment, such as a mutual friend, a counselor or a pastor or minister."

At those meetings, Dr. Kornhaber says, the grandparent has to bite his or her tongue and be willing to let the parent take the lead. Tolerance and patience, he says, should be the watchword.

Only when all that has failed should court intervention be considered. And even then, Dr. Kornhaber says, mediation is preferred to legal action.

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