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Urinary Incontinence
The Effects, Treatment and Causes of Overactive Bladder
By Donna Smith
In fact, Dr. Bartell says one of the best ways to keep a positive attitude is to not keep your struggles and feelings to yourself. "You will find great support, ideas and management skills by talking, reading and acknowledging that you need some assistance," she says. "Although it can be a tough subject to discuss, keeping it to yourself could result in you feeling alone and helpless, which will make it difficult to have a positive attitude."
She suggests writing a list of all the important goals that you want to achieve in your life as well as the experiences that you enjoy most – then study your list. "I'm sure that you will find that just about all of them are still achievable even with being incontinent," Dr. Bartell says. "For the small number of things that you may not be able to do, don't give up. Consider other options for achieving them or think about new goals or ideas that could take the place of the old ones, but be just as exciting. Remember that an obstacle doesn't have to be a barrier but simply a challenge that you can overcome as long as you know that being incontinent is manageable with the right help and a support system."
But bad days are bound to happen. "Rather than focusing on them, recognize that many more of the days in between are better," Dr. Bartell says. "By looking as a bad day as the exception, rather than as the rule, you will feel more positive and more in control of your life. Since being incontinent can trigger feelings of lack of control in your life, respond to a bad day to take control over some other aspect of your life. For example, decide to become healthier by eating better, choose to spend more time with friends, choose to read a book that you've been putting off. By making active choices in other parts of your life, you will feel less burdened by the bad day and the negative feelings it could cause, if you let them get the better of you."
Another way to take control is to wear an absorbent pad made for bladder control issues. "Products like DEPENDS can give you the immediate ability to regain the control and freedom to live your life that you may feel you had lost when you became incontinent," Dr. Bartell says. "It can be difficult to overcome the obstacle of acknowledging the need for [these products], but once you do so, you will immediately recognize that you no longer need to deny yourself many of the life experiences you were afraid to take on because being incontinent felt like an enormous barrier. Using them is simply a ways to a means – giving yourself permission to recognize your body's need for a little help allows you to feel optimistic and to experience your entire life. It is an obstacle well worth addressing and is no different than any other aid such as glasses or a hearing-aid, the purpose of which is simply to allow the wearer to regain control and choice in their life."
