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Dealing with Denial
How to Help Your Loved One Acknowledge Incontinence
By Kelly D. Burgess
Old age is not a disease, and incontinence is not an inevitable part of aging. And if a doctor ever implies to a patient that it is, he or she should find another doctor, says Dr. Catherine DuBeau, associate professor of geriatric medicine at the University of Chicago.
The impression that incontinence is inevitable, says Dr. DuBeau, can be one reason why someone may be reluctant to confront their incontinence even if it's interfering with his or her life.
So how can you, the caregiver, help the person you care for recognize their incontinence and help manage it?
The anguished question came to the Expert Q&A section of the DEPENDŽ Caring Connections Web site from a man who was at his wits' end. His mother had become so incontinent that she was wetting on the furniture and in her car. He didn't know what to do or how to approach her. He was worried about what was happening to her and how he could help her deal with the situation.
Although Dr. DuBeau has not treated this patient, she says the mother's apparent lack of awareness could be symptomatic of a bigger problem. "The main thing to understand about incontinence in older people is that it's not caused solely by bladder changes but can be caused by other factors as well, such as medications or other medical conditions," she says. "That's why it's important for people with incontinence to get it specifically evaluated. Sometimes all we need to do is fix the underlying problems, and the incontinence may resolve itself."
Even problems with walking, says Dr. DuBeau, can lead to incontinence. "You can have a perfectly healthy bladder, but if you can't make it to the bathroom in time, incontinence will be an issue."
