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Alzheimer's and Incontinence
A Caregiver's View
By Melissa Granberry
Alzheimer's disease can devastate even the most powerful person, including a former president of the United States. Recently, news coverage has revealed the deterioration of Ronald Reagan's health, who less than two decades ago was in the Oval Office. Now, unable to speak or feed himself, his wife, former First Lady Nancy Reagan, is a constant presence at his side.
Like Mrs. Reagan, many family members find themselves becoming the primary caregiver for loved ones with Alzheimer's disease. Kathy from North Carolina has been taking care of her father, who suffers from a combination of Alzheimer's and depression over her mother's 1997 death. After selling his home two years later, his health began to further deteriorate. "His normal life was over," she says.
"It is a full-time job," says Kathy, about caring for her dad. "Basically, I have given my life to my father for the time he needs it." And she plans to keep him in her care for as long as she can. "I'm self-taught and doctor-approved!" she says, laughing.
Kathy fights a daily battle to maintain the dignity of her father, a man who served 22 years in the United States Navy. "He has good days when he talks and responds to his environment," she says. "A bad day is when he's lost in his own mind."
Among other health problems, Kathy's dad also suffers from incontinence. "Incontinence is a big problem," she says. "It limits the places where I can take him." Kathy adds that being the primary caregiver with an opposite gender parent poses some unique situations. "You have to get over the physical gender differences," she says. When in public, one of the dilemmas with her dad is choosing which facility to use: the men's or women's restroom. "I typically stop at a gas station where there is only one restroom for both men and women," she says. If she must choose, Kathy picks the ladies' room. "It is usually cleaner," she adds, laughing.
