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Incontinent Conversations
Talking About Incontinence Among Supportive Friends
By Lyn Mettler
When chatting with friends and family on a daily basis, conversations usually revolve around everyday topics like the outcome of little Timmy's baseball game, what happened on TV last night or your friend's new hairstyle. What does not usually top the list is anything related to using the bathroom.
However, for people managing incontinence day in and day out, opening up about the issue can come as a welcome relief, especially among supportive friends and family.
Why would you want to tell anyone that you have problems with bladder leaks? For lots of reasons, says Nancy Muller, executive director of the National Association for Continence.
To start, it helps you to acknowledge your condition and how your life is impacted on a daily basis, she says. "It's a pathway for affirmation or confirmation of what you are experiencing." Talking about incontinence can help you realize there are lots of others out there just like you, Muller adds.
After Sandy Behrends, 62, began talking about her incontinence with co-workers, she found out she wasn't the only one experiencing bladder control problems. "Pretty soon everyone over the age of 35 admitted to having the same problem," says Behrends.
Family and friends can also serve as a support system, offering reassurance, a good laugh and help when you need it. "We get our strength from other people," says Muller. "It's how, as human beings, we are all nurtured and nourished."
Letting others know you are incontinent can also provide relief to people who feel anxious about keeping it a secret. "Sharing with friends and family allows one to feel comfortable knowing that you don't have to feel the burden of being secretive," says Susan Bartell, a licensed psychologist in Evanston, Ill.


