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Playing Favorites
When Grandparents Appear to Favor One Grandchild By Sue Marquette Poremba
Stuck in the MiddleGrandchildren aren't the only ones who suffer if grandparents blatantly play favorites. Parents the middle generation are also hurt when their children are 
slighted. Also, says Sophy, favoring one grandchild over the others can undo parental discipline. For example, at home, the parents work hard with the child to share his toys with his younger brothers, but at Grandma's house, he is given new toys so he doesn't have to share them.
Sometimes grandparents simply don't realize they are giving the appearance of playing favorites. My grandmother used to invite my brother to spend the night all the time, but she never invited me. I thought it was because she liked him better, and it caused many bitter feelings. My grandmother, however, had no idea that she appeared to be favoring my brother over me. Instead, she was inviting my brother to stay because he was needed to help out on the farm, whereas she knew I didn't like farm work. She thought she was doing me a favor!
Parents, however, do recognize if one child is picked out as the favorite, and it is up to them to be the advocate of all their children. They need to speak up and make sure the grandparents understand how it makes the other children feel. The grandparents and parents can then work together to make sure every child knows they are loved.