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Taking on a New Role
Adding "Grandfather" to Your List of Identities
By Armin Brott
More than 90 percent of parents 65 and older have grandchildren, and about half of those have at least one adult grandchild. What this means is that with life expectancies getting longer all the time, you're going to be a grandfather for a long – maybe a very long – time. Most grandfathers love being able to add the title of "Grandpa" to their list of identities. Here are some of the reasons why:
You may not have had the chance, or the opportunity, or the desire to be as good a father as you would have liked, but grandfatherhood gives you a chance to look back and to try to "do it right" this time. It may also be more fun.
"Since they do not have the responsibility for raising the child toward that unconscious goal, their love is not as burdened by doubts and anxieties as it was when their own children were young," writes Therese Benedek. "Relieved of the immediate stresses ... and the responsibilities of fatherhood, grandparents appear to enjoy their grandchildren more than they enjoyed their own children."
Your grandchildren are your assurance that your biological line will continue for at least one more generation. At the same time, becoming a grandfather may help you repair, deepen or re-establish relationships with your children.
"When your kids have kids of their own, you suddenly have an area of shared experience," my dad told me recently. "And that leads to tolerance and forgiveness on both sides."