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Taking on a New Role

Adding "Grandfather" to Your List of Identities

By Armin Brott

Your children are grown, everything seems to be taking care of itself OK and it's been a long time since anyone really needed you. But having a grandchild gives you the chance to teach, give advice, tell stories, be a financial and emotional resource and contribute to their lives. As a result, you'll feel valuable again. It's that "second lease on life" you always hear people talk about.

It May Make You Lighten up a Little
Time is short at this stage of life, and it's just not worth the energy to demand perfection from everyone – especially young children. It also gives you the chance to shamelessly spoil someone without being accused of being a bad father.

Remember all those times when your kid told you how much he hated you and how he would never, never, ever be as horrible a parent as you were? Well, chances are that now that he's a parent, your child has become a lot more sympathetic to the errors you made when you were the dad and he was the kid. As my own father often tells me, "It's a great comfort to me that you're not a perfect parent."

"Grandparents get to relive the memories of the early phase of their own parenthood in observing the growth and development of their grandchildren," writes Benedek. Grandparenthood may also bring back some memories of your relationship with your own grandparents.