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Home › Articles › Becoming a Grandparent › Who Are You Calling Grandma?

Who Are You Calling Grandma?

When You're the First
to Become a Grandparent

By Sue Marquette Poremba

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Belinda Mooney of Helena, Mont., was 37 years old when she discovered she was going to be a grandmother. In fact, three months after her daughter announced her pregnancy, Mooney discovered that she, too, was expecting.

While most new grandmothers aren't giving birth, it is often quite a shock to be the first in your group of friends to become a grandparent. Even though she was the first of her friends to be a grandmother, Mooney's friends were very supportive. "My friends were pretty much accepting of the situation," she says. "I still had young children when many of my friends' children were in their teens."

Age Is Just a Number
Most of us have a vision of what a grandparent should be, and that vision is usually based on our own grandparents. We envision that there is an appropriate age to be a grandparent, perhaps over age 55 or 60 or whenever your friends are becoming grandparents. And as more couples are waiting until their late 30s or early 40s to begin raising a family, a couple who had children right out of college is likely to become grandparents while their best friends are still sending children to elementary school.

"Given the demographics of baby boomers, being the only grandparent in your circle of friends is a definite reality," says Debbie Mandel, a stress management expert and author of the weekly newsletter, Turn on Your Inner Light. "We often shy away from the term 'grandparent' when our friends have toddlers or young children the term used to connote aging and being over the hill. However, being a young grandparent is a terrific experience and should be embraced full force."

Elaine Fantle Shimberg, author of Blending Families

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