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Who Are You Calling Grandma?

When You're the First
to Become a Grandparent

By Sue Marquette Poremba

Many grandparents find it easier to embrace grandparenthood if they aren't given a nickname that makes them feel older than their friends. Even the most doting 44-year-old grandmother in the prime of her career and in the best shape of her life might cringe at being called "Grammy."

"This is a topic for discussion between the grandchild's parents and new grandparents," Lanigan says. "Some grandparents elect to have children use their first name, and that is acceptable within their value system. Some grandparents select pet names children can use or even the word for grandparent in another language."

Another popular option is using a variation of the grandparent's name. For example, a grandfather whose first name is Jack goes by GrandJack or a grandmother named Laura asks to be called LaLa. (An additional benefit to a name like this is it also can be used by your friends' children.)

"Let the kids come up with their own names [to call you]," Shimberg says. "My kids called my mother 'Pool Nanny' because she had a swimming pool and their other grandmother 'No Pool Nanny' because she didn't."

No matter what you decide to be called, the important thing, experts agree, is to enjoy your grandchildren. Don't be afraid to declare this special relationship in your life and share it with those who haven't been blessed with grandchildren yet.

And, Mandel says, let everyone boost your ego when they say, "You're a grandparent? I don't believe it!"