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Home › Articles › Becoming a Step-Grandparent › A "Step" in the Right Direction

A "Step" in the Right Direction

Taking an Active Role as Stepgrandparent

By Sue Marquette Poremba

Pages:  1  2  3  4  

  • The stepgrandparents need to decide if they want to establish a relationship with the stepgrandchildren. If they decide against it, the decision should be respected and not vilified, but they should also make the effort to be cordial with the stepgrandchildren.

  • Consequently, the stepgrandchild also should have a voice in whether or not to develop a relationship with the stepgrandparent.

  • The relationship between the stepgrandparent and the stepgrandchild has to be separate from the middle party (the children's parents). This is especially important if the stepgrandparent is married to the child's natural grandparent.

  • Whenever possible, stepgrandparents should try to treat their stepgrandchildren fairly, particularly when the natural grandchildren are around. Sometimes, Browning says, the children pick up subtle – or not-so-subtle – signs that they are not important. No matter how the stepgrandparents feel, they are still the adults and all attempts at evenhandedness should be made.

  • Finally, while community is a good thing, it may be that children are overwhelmed with all these extra relatives. A child who already has two sets of grandparents may not have the emotional energy for a fifth or sixth grandparent figure. In this case, the stepgrandparent and the stepgrandchild can create a different type of relationship.

    • In the end, "the relationship has to be between two people and leave it be," Browning says. "Most kids, in the long run, don't care about 'steps.'" They just want a healthy relationship with the people in their lives.

    Pages:  1  2  3  4  

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