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Staying Active, Controlling Incontinence
A Primer for Men and Women By Lisa Marie Metzler
Dick Howe, former president of Pennzoil, suffered from mild-to-moderate incontinence as a result of prostate cancer surgery. With all the stereotypes that coincide with motor oil, fast cars and octane, one would think Howe's masculinity would keep him silent. But Howe, an engineer by trade, met this condition head on.
Instead of regarding this condition as a problem, he looked at it as a personal challenge. Because he traveled on business and wanted to be an active part of his grandchildren's lives, Howe could not simply stay home and avoid social or business functions. Initially, he purchased extra absorbency pads, but eventually was able to use absorbent jockey shorts.
"This helped a lot because it reduced the bulk," says Howe. "I still use pads if I am going to be drinking alcohol or participating in an occasion where it would be difficult to use the bathroom frequently."
The ability to wear the less absorbent jockey shorts with confidence came in part because Howe is learning to cope with incontinence. He avoids caffeine and limits alcohol. Urinating on schedule rather than on demand also helps.
Eventually Howe underwent surgery to have a sphincter implanted and no longer uses absorbent undergarments. His new wife, Desiree, was a vital support to Howe. The delicate subject matter of incontinence didn't bother her, she says.
"I focused on what is valuable in life," says Desiree. "Having continence was way down the list of the characteristics I sought in a man. Integrity, compassion, intelligence, humor and courage were some of Dick's qualities, all of which were high on my checklist."
In fact, her desire to know more about prostrate cancer and help other people in the same situation led her to write a book, His Prostate and Me: A Couple Deals With Prostate Cancer (Winedale, 2002), which gives practical information about prostate cancer and helpful ways of dealing with incontinence and other side effects of the cancer.