- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- grandparents today articles
- grandparents today q&a
- community & groups
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
From Our Sponsors
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
The "Bad Mood" Lifestyle
11 Ways to Turn Yours Around and Create a Powerful New Reality
"These low-energy emotions and the victim mentality they engender pull you away from the life you want," Anderson says. "The second you doubt or diminish yourself, you step into the black hole. The more you feed it with worry, fear, anger and stress, the larger it becomes and the faster you sink, making it harder to get out. The more hate, negativity and judgment you throw at a problem, the bigger it gets. Everything feels more challenging because your internal expression has gone from a can-do, open approach to a dark place of scarcity that affects your family, your job and everything you touch."
Unfortunately, most of us try to control and overpower, using our energy o manipulate individuals and situations. (Micromanaging, suspicion and negativity are signs that you're using force.) Problem is, force doesn't work. It is a low-ROE choice that feels bad to everyone involved. You simply can't control the reactions of other people. And though you may feel completely justified in using force, it usually results in a lose-lose outcome. On the other hand, when you operate from a place of power, controlling only yourself and your actions, you will always have a high ROE. Anderson recalls a pattern of force she fell into with Patrick, a gifted salesperson who never seemed to get his weekly reports filled out. No matter how much she nagged and reminded him, she didn't get what she wanted. Neither did Patrick. Finally, she made a conscious effort to redirect her energy from force to power. "We finally agreed that he could turn in his reports every other month and they'd be prepared by one of my employees in the regional office in Chicago," Anderson writes. "Think of all the energy wasted traveling to Texas to hassle him about admin policy when I could have been asking him how I could best help him to do his job better!"