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Emotions in Motion
The Emotional Side of Incontinence
By Katherine Bontrager
While on first glance incontinence may seem like solely a physical problem, it isn't just the body that is impacted by this condition. In fact, bladder leaks can affect emotions, bringing up a wealth of feelings that often can be difficult to manage. But by learning to cope with the emotional effects of incontinence, you can keep in control of this common condition.
Incontinence-related emotions vary widely depending on the circumstances and the individual, says Nancy Muller, executive director of the National Association for Continence (NAFC).
"Men are often bewildered, devastated, angry and frustrated," Muller says. In contrast, women often express embarrassment, a reluctance to talk about their symptoms and even guilt, she says. "They harbor myths about causal factors, such as the mistaken belief that their incontinence is just a natural part of aging or just a part of being a woman, and therefore something to accept and live with," she says.
Betsy Lampe has suffered from incontinence since undergoing a hysterectomy in the early 1990s, and she knows all about the fears and embarrassment that often go hand in hand with bladder weakness. "I do many speaking engagements about writing and publishing, and I always insist on having a podium," Lampe says. "Not because I like to have a microphone or because I need something to lean on, but because I want something in front of me in case I have a bad leak."
The emotional whirlwind of incontinence starts with a fear of being discovered and a fear of being wet in public, says Cheryle Gartley, founder and president of The Simon Foundation for Continence, a not-for-profit organization that seeks to increase the public awareness about incontinence. So sufferers choose to remain at home so they can be close to a bathroom, she says. "This behavior leads to isolation, which leads to a downhill cycle of depression, robbing people of their coping mechanisms," Gartley says.
