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Expert Q&A
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| By Susan Bartell Licensed Psychologist | ||
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I care for my elderly mother and sometimes I get very frustrated, though don't want to take it out on her. How can I release my frustrations without affecting my mother?
You're right not to want to take it out on your mother, because as you know, aging happens to all of us, and our most important asset in these times is a caring and loving family. However, it is difficult and very stressful to care for an aging parent.
The best way to help yourself feel better is to speak to your partner, your sibling or even your grown children or a good friend. In addition, you should do your best to have as much help as possible so you don't feel solely burdened with this difficult job.
Even if you are the primary caretaker for your mother, your siblings, your mother's grandchildren (if they are adults) and even hired help can be of great assistance, even once in a while, to give you some relief. Consider holding a family meeting to discuss your feelings and try and recruit help in caring for your mother. It is not unusual for children to leave all the work of caring for an aging parent to one sibling if she or he takes it on without complaint.
To get the help you need, you will have to speak up and ask for it – even if it is asking them for money to help pay for someone to stay with your mother or do housework. Good luck."
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