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Expert Q&A
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| By Paul Coleman Psychologist Family Therapist | ||
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What can happen to someone who suffers from incontinence and decides to remain indoors and not socialize for fear of having an accident in public?
Not socializing and restricting one's lifestyle will have three major consequences. First, depression will increase. We simply become more depressed when we stop doing things that would ordinarily brighten our day or make us feel connected to others. Severely restricting one's socializing will increase negative views about oneself ("I'm inadequate ... I'm shameful ... I'm defective...") and increase a negative outlook about the future ("Nothing will improve ... My future looks bleak ... I have little to look forward to..."). By restricting activities and not learning to cope with the inconvenience and possible embarrassment of bladder leakage, one begins to feel helpless. Helplessness fuels depression. Depression makes a person less motivated to make positive changes. A vicious cycle develops.
A second consequence is a rise in anxiety. A person who limits what they do and where they go – who basically avoids situations that might cause embarrassment – is strengthening the underlying fear. That happens for two reasons: Avoidance leads to lack of practice of successful coping so a person maintains their apprehensiveness. Second, by avoiding social experiences the person says to themselves, "Had I gone, I would have embarrassed myself," and the negative outlook is reinforced.
A third consequence is family conflict. Spouses, adult children, etc. will get frustrated over time since their activities will necessarily be limited, too. Because of these reasons, it is important to maintain an active lifestyle even with incontinence."
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