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Expert Q&A

 

By Paul Coleman
Psychologist Family Therapist

What is the best way to approach someone with incontinence without offending him or her?

Some people can be offended or hurt or embarrassed no matter how well you approach the conversation. I would not criticize them for being secretive. I would not minimize their concerns by saying things like, "Most people get that way...You shouldn't feel embarrassed..." I would avoid any comment that smacks of, "You should not feel..." because the person does indeed feel that way. I would state matter of factly that it is a very common problem and usually manageable. I would say that most people with UI find ways to manage their incontinence so that their lifestyle is unrestricted, for the most part. I would inquire what worries the person has. What are their fears? I would provide them with information from reliable sources about the causes and management of UI."

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