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Expert Q&A

	By Joshua Coleman, Ph.D. Psychologist

My son broke up with his college girlfriend and the mother of his 2-month-old child. She has decided to leave school permanently and stay in her home state, which is hundreds of miles away from us. He doesn't seem to care, and he isn't really mature enough to be the partner or father that is needed in this situation. I am devastated. We haven't had many dealings with her or her parents. They have pretty much controlled things since the pregnancy announcement was made. Do I have a right to contact this woman and ask her to keep me involved in my grandbaby's life?

You have the emotional right but typically not the legal right. That said, I would start trying to build a relationship with her right away. I would reach out to her in a very loving and generous way. Tell her that you want to be an involved and supportive grandparent and promise not to be intrusive. If you have the ability to offer anything financial, such as starting a college fund, you might consider that. This is because you want to let her know that there is a positive in it for her to stay in contact with you in case she's not healthy or mature enough to consider your grandchild's feelings and well-being.

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