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Expert Q&A

 

By Joshua Coleman, Ph.D.
Psychologist

My 10-year-old grandson speaks very disrespectfully to me and my husband. I have tried talking to my son about it, but he just brushes it off as puberty. Isn't there something that can be done about this?

Yes, you should tell your grandson whenever he's being disrespectful that you don't like how he's communicating with you. I would be careful not to be harsh around your son, since he may choose to limit your grandson's access as a result. However, if your grandson is visiting, there should be logical consequences for rude behavior such as timeouts, withholding of privileges, rewards, etc. I would keep the tone upbeat and non-punitive sounding, even when you're setting limits. Something like, "Honey, if you can't talk to me in a more respectful way, I'm not going to want to take you to the movies later today, and I was looking forward to doing that." However, also bear in mind that today's children are being raised with a lot more leeway so it's possible that he doesn't think his behavior is rude because his parents don't comment on it at home.

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